Making Your Honeymoon Last
The important thing is to learn to share negative feelings creatively. For example, when doing so, I need to say, “I feel hurt or angry, can we talk about such and such?” rather than saying, “You hurt me, or made me angry.” When I do the latter I am blaming my partner for my reactions.
The fact is that nobody can hurt my feelings or make me angry without my permission. What my partner did may or may not be a problem, but my response, when negative or defensive, is always my problem and responsibility.
According to one well-known counselor, “Failure to deal realistically with anger as it arises is the major cause of failure in modern marriages.” Thus it is not without good
reason that the Bible counsels: “Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly.”1
Fourth, don’t lose your sense of humor or stop having fun together. Make time to play and do things together that make you laugh and be happy in each other’s company. Have a date every week and make it as exciting as you did when you were courting. Keep romance alive as you did when you were courting. Buy her flowers, send a love letter, write a poem, or any of the many little things she loves. Do the same for him.
Instead of your lives
Fifth, don’t fail to take time to “smell the roses.” Keep the emotion of wonder alive by enjoying nature together; walking barefoot in the sand; hiking in the mountains, or whatever it takes for you to feel the wonders of life and creation. If you don’t participate in these types of activities, instead of your lives being wonder-full, they may become wonder-empty, which, in turn, can make your marriage dull and boring.
Sixth, don’t go it alone. Don’t expect your spouse to meet all of your needs. This is being unrealistic. No one person can meet all of your needs. Nurture healthy relationships with other couples. As well as these, every woman needs at least one soul sister and every man needs one soul brother with whom they can share all of their joys, sorrows and struggles and not feel judged or put down in any way. Develop these safe kinds of relationships. They help you to keep growing as an individual, and growing together as a couple.
Seventh, don’t forget to pray together or neglect your spiritual life. Because God designed marriage it makes good sense to place him at the center of it. This is the most important step of all. Both partners together committing your lives and relationship to God daily will do wonders for keeping romance alive in your marriage. There is a lot of truth in the old saying: "The family that prays together stays together."
Finally, be sure to join and regularly attend a healthy church where they believe in the Word of God and live by it's principles. A study conducted by sociologist, Steven Nock of the University of Virginia, showed that couples who attend church regularly are forty-two percent more likely to be married for the first time, and those in the church who were strongly committed to its beliefs had a twenty-three percent better chance of having a "very happy" marriage than those who don't go to church.
There’s a lot more to making one’s honeymoon last, of course, but applying the principles of these “Seven Don’ts” will give you a good start for many more positives.
1. Ephesians 4:26 (TLB).
See also "The Art of Staying in Love," "Seven Secrets for a Successful Marriage," "Enrich Your Family Life," and more by going to http://www.actsweb.org/articles/Marriage.php.
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