I have read that if flies are placed in a jar with air holes in the lid, they will fly around frantically, banging into the lid, desperately trying to escape from their prison. If left there long enough, eventually they will stop hitting the lid. Later, if the lid is removed, they won't even try to escape. Somehow they have been conditioned "to feel and believe" that there is no escape. They just keep circling in the cramped jar.

Many people are like this. Somewhere in their past, through a frightening and/or traumatic experience, such as being raped, sexually, physically, or emotionally abused or rejected as a child, they have been conditioned to believe at an unconscious level that they, too, are trapped and that there is no way out of their dilemma. And they end up going in circles with their life and/or relationships.

To be freed from this endless cycle of defeat, those of us who have been abused need the healing touch of Godâ€"and want it with all of our heart. As a general rule God uses other people to bring this healing. It begins with acknowledging our problem (often best detected by the symptoms we experience), genuinely wanting to be healed, being willing to face the agony of confronting these painful memories and damaged emotions, and getting the help we need (qualified counseling is often needed). Most important of all, start with praying the right prayer such as the following:

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, thank you that you care about my pain and where I have been hurt in my past. In many ways my life is in chaos and I have failed miserably in my closest relationships. Please give me the courage to face any and all painful memories, connect to them and bring them to the light for your healing. Please lead me to the help I need whatever that may be. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."

1. John 5:6.

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